This morning, They put a call through to the “On Becoming” author – in my head – and below is their conversation
S O – Hi Toke. My name is ‘Segun Odejimi. I am almost certain you have never heard about me. I am not a Hollywood star, neither do I manufacture make-up. I’m just someone who wants to know if it is true that you have stalked John Boyega since he arrived Nigeria.
T M – Yes I have.
S O – Yes you have heard about me or yes you have stalked John Boyega?
T M – Yes I have been going where John Boyega has been going.
S O – Why?
T M – Have you seen that guy?
S O – No. Not personally. In Star Wars and all the rest of it, yes.
T M – Dude is cute. He has a British accent and he is single like me.
S O – Erm, but you are definitely older.
T M – So? Isn’t Juliet Ibrahim older than Iceberg Slim?
S O – Haha! So you wanted John to notice you?
T M – Yes. He came to Nigeria to find a wife while holidaying. I wanted to make his search much easier.
S O – But people around him say you were stalking him even though at each event or place, he didn’t even give you “face”. T M – I wasn’t stalking him. I was only shooting my shot. In fact, what if I stalked him? When did it become a crime to try and shoot shot? Besides, he was going to notice me at Crossroads before his guard came to embarrass me